Five and a half months later

20th September 2011

The reality of what has happened still hasn’t sunk in. I don’t think it has for any of us.

Every single day is hard.  Hard phiscally and emotionally.

Since been home we’ve had some good news though. Jett came back clear. He is fine and will be okay. I knew in my heart he would be fine, but having said that I honestly thought Stella would have been too.

Scott has gone back to work 4 days a week as we need the money. My mum has still not gone back to work and is helping me fulltime. Jett is growing and is now over 6 months old.

Stella has taken tiny steps forward which is hopeful. At least she’s not going backwards. She still cannot move and is not eating orally. We take her to private class’s twice a week to try and get her moving and build her muscle tone up. We sing , read books, dance and be silly with her every day just to try and get a smile. Her brother can make her giggle like mad.

I look at her face, she’s like snow white. She is the most gorgeous girl.

God, she’s so so beautiful. It seems so unfair.

Where my head is at now …….

Im not okay, but I’m surviving. I’ll never be okay with this. It changes you. I do have to carry on being strong though. I’m a mum to two children and always will be.

Treasure what you’ve got, and I don’t mean material things ; cause sometimes shit does happen to good people.

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I was just reminded by a beautiful friend, Amos:

Miracles do happen to good people too xx

We do know that as we have already experienced that many times with Miss Stella, thanks for the reminder x