So the diagnosis came and good case scenario would be if she lived to ten.When in the world can that be described as a good case scenario?
Thoughts ran through my head.
What would be worse, losing her sooner or losing her later?
What a thing for a parent to think. I felt guilty thinking that. I felt distraught and inconsolable.
I felt guilty thinking of her funeral. I just couldn’t think straight at all.
The doctors said it could be one year, it could be two, and it could be ten. They are all quick to say that they have no time but there will definitely be an earlier end to our sweet Stella.It’s unfathomable, heart breaking and utterly devastating.
How was I meant to go on living life normally?It was bitter sweet bringing her home. All the while we’re happy to have her home, while secretly we knew her diagnosis and we’re overcome with grief.
So we decided to stay positive......
She was already a lot different to any other case. Her liver was still fine, she made it out of ICU, she could recognise us, she did things intently, and she was our “star” and she will be different. She’ll shine through this.
We had to think this way.
We couldn’t let it bring us down. She needed us to be strong and we had to believe in her.