Love this quote ....

15.01.2012

"What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning"

Photo taken on Stella's birthday last year

Thanks Cass D xxxx

P.S- Thank you to all involved in the auction, it went incredibly well x

Peekaboo Auction for Stella x

Today Peekaboo magazine  is holding an online auction on Facebook (  Peekaboo Magazine Brisbane FB Page ) with all proceeds going directly to us....

What a lovely thing to organise and thank you so so much to all the great businesses who have donated such beautiful items and another massive thank you to all the bidders.

We love you all.

..................

It's getting very tight here at the moment with Scott not having worked since November and us only receiving the disability payment so this boost of cash will really help with everyday living and hopefully also help us to create some fun and happy memories as we head in to a new year  xxxx


Please go on over and check it out - everything in the album is truly gorgeous !!

AUCTION ENDS TOMORROW MORNING 10 AM 13/01/2012

Happy Birthday my Princess

11.01.2012

I miss you today, I'll miss you always
I will ache forever in my heart for you Stella

I do try imagining you smiling and laughing. Through my tears the thought makes me smile.
Anything and everything I do, I think of you, say hello and carry on.


Today you turn 2 years old - you should be here with me.

I can however feel you around me, and see you in Jett.

You chase those butterflies my Sweet x

Please come over and check out my new Facebook Page:

Stella's Galaxy 

 

Twas two days after Christmas ....

27.12.2011

I find myself not thinking too much about anything in particular.

I can’t, If I do I get heavy in the chest and can’t breathe.

We’ve had lots of family visit, and the house has been crazy busy. This has been nice, I’m not a loner of a person so being around a lot of people has helped.

I’ve visited sweet Stella twice. She is resting in such a beautiful place, it almost doesn’t feel like a cemetery.

A gorgeous friend from what feels like a life time ago messaged me this yesterday-

‘Little Stella must have been a brand new angel in heaven and was sent down to learn from good people about the human spirit and compassion. The reason she was here such a short time was because she had learnt all she needed to about beauty and love and life from two beautiful  people and therefore it was time to go home. What a gift to have her in your lives for those few short years and thank god she was sent to you two and not someone else who could not have given her everything she deserved’

This brings tears to my eyes, I’m full of sorrow but this makes my heart smile.

She sure was a little angel. What a wise soul, and she was mine, all mine for a little while.

I am going to keep updating this blog, and will be doing something big in the name of my daughter Stella next year.

Thank you to all who have supported me and sent your love from across the world, please keep reading and spreading the word.

Much Love Chelsea xxxxx

Goodbye for now my Baby Stella ....

17.12.2011

Thursday night we farewelled our dear daughter Stella Grace.

She had fought right to the last hour when suddenly I just knew she had just had enough.
She wanted to be cuddled.

So that is what her Mummy and Daddy did.

Typing this through tears, I just can’t believe I’ll never see her beautiful face again. Her chubby little hands, the one freckle on her right foot, the eyelashes exquisitely long, her golden hair. Her beauty takes my breath away.
 
Stella’s story has not finished, her shining light will shine bright always and forever.

  Im going to miss her. Im going to miss her all my life. I am utterly devastated and numb, but we will get though this next step. My daughter taught me what it was to be strong, brave and true.

~ The Beautiful Star ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Service Information:

Tuesday 20th 11am

Centenary Memorial Gardens, Sumner Brisbane QLD

Please wear colour

xxx

12.12.2011

Stella turned 23 months old yesterday, still so so young and very much still my baby girl.

After nearly three weeks in intensive care and a few on the ward Miss Stella is coming home today.

It’s a big day. She will be brought home by ambulance as she is so fragile.

We now have different equipment. I thought before was hard but now it’s a whole new ball game.

We have a suction machine, air mattress and oxygen.

Stella doesn’t swallow at all anymore and needs oxygen at a low rate full time now. She is also floppy, even more so then before.

They have changed her drug cocktail around now so the ones I use to be able to do with my eyes closed have all been changed.

The last three weeks have been so up and down. It’s been a frightfully scary time where I honestly thought we may lose our Star. I cannot explain the raw emotion you feel. The tears, sobbing and the heartache, it’s awful, and its real and it doesn’t go away.

Saturday last week we were told to say goodbye. The team in ICU meant it, and I thought this was it. I have never doubted Stella before and have always remained positive but I really thought she wouldn’t be okay. They said her body went into shut down after a collapsed lung. Oh my, it was awful.

She did however get through the afternoon that they expected her not too, and became stable. What an amazing girl, to go through so much and still be here, wanting to be here.

Without going into too much detail she is now being looked after by palliative care, I’m sure you all know what that means. To me it means she’ll be comfy, not in pain and smothered with lots and lots of love each and every second of every day.

Christmas is around the corner, and I just want her here for it. I want to be holding her in my arms.

My princess, who I know so many do love, is taking us all on a ride, her ride, and she is now the one calling all the shots.

Stella the Star

25.11.2011

My AMAZING BABY GIRL is spending her fifth day in the Intensive Care Unit at the Mater.

Tuesday morning started with an ambulance trip to the hospital as Stella wasn’t responding to anything.

After four days of utter gloom and sadness my princess has once again astounded the doctors and she is breathing by herself, opening her eyes and looking around.

I am just so bloody proud of her, I want the whole world to know how strong, brave and courageous my daughter Stella is.

18.11.2011

Instead of saying "Stella, leave your brother alone" or "stop taking your nappy off"

I have to say to my daughter,

"Stella, take a breath" and "Please swallow baby"



This is an incredibly life deliberating disease that deserves more research and more funding.

Seven months ago I had so many hopes for my girl, what she will be like in high school, what kind of woman she will be grow up to be. I knew she would always be strong and opinionated - she was a vivacious girl and still is on the inside.

Today, I just wait for one smile, one connection, each day at a time.

We've spent a few days at hospital this week. She's home now and is on the mend but every sickness knocks her little brain and body back 10 steps.

........................

Please, cuddle your little ones and never ever take for granted what you have. I know it’s a cliché thing to say but I really do mean it and I’m living by it every single day.

Upset

16.11.2011     ( 7 months on to the day )


Ive been feeling very emotional this week.
Everytime I look at Stella I cant help think what she 'should' be doing.

I dont normally think about the future, I think about the now.
Thinking into the future just crushes my heart.

It is so so unfair.
I still cant grasp why this has happened to my Stella.
I'm trying my very hardest to be strong for her but sometimes I just cant help but cry.

Here she is, the most beautiful girl xx

Kisses and cuddles

10.11.11
From today I am going to make more time for kisses and cuddles.

Cleaning, washing and running around can wait..... 

KISSES AND CUDDLES are going to be my top priority.