Friday, March 23, 2012

Over three months on

23.03.2012

Well its been a little while since I last wrote a blog post, and to be honest I haven’t because I haven’t known what to write.

How I feel day to day varies so much.

I drove past our ‘old route’ to the Mater last week, and I swear I nearly had a panic attack.

I was out shopping with my hubby and I saw a cute little sign that said
“I’ve already found my prince, his name is Daddy” , I read this and felt like crying. My husband has lost his little princess.

We were at a friends house for dinner two nights ago, and he handed me Stella’s pink tea party basket. I use to use it to carry her toys around when visiting people.
It has been there for over a year and I had forgotten about it… So many dreams and hopes in just a little tea set...

I hate feeling like I have to say that Jett is my first child to people I meet in day to day life, just so I don’t make them feel “uncomfortable”. People dont know what to say, and a lot of the time it's easier to say nothing, but then I feel so terrible. He is my second, and Stella was and always will be my first   :'(


I still buy Stella pretty things every week. I can’t help myself. I place whatever I have bought in amongst all her other “treasures” in her special room.

I just miss her, miss her sweet little face.


My little Stella Bella, baby princess forever xxx

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Jett turns 1 today !

01.03.2012

My handsome baby boy turns the big one today !
He has brought so many smiles and so much love and laughter to our whole family.
He'll never know how much he has helped me this last year, he's one special little soul who I know came into this world for a very profound reason just like his special sister, Stella.

My Stella Baby should be here having fun with her brother.
Stella would have been 2 years, 1 month and 3 weeks old today.
I know he see's her most days, as he waves to the air, always races to her room to play and blows kisses to her photos...

When he's older he's going to ask where Stella is. He's going to know her and remember her and that's just how I want it.



Jetty Spaghetti having fun at the pool

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

62 Days ....

15.02.2012

Its been 62 days since you’ve been gone Stella Bella.

I miss you; your face, your eyes, your hands, your toes…

When I see pretty little blonde girls out, that Jett watches with joy as they run around, I think of you.


I love remembering your attitude, your jibber jabber, your cheekiness.

How you loved swimming and just being in the water

Also hanging out in the shed with your Dad.

How you use to bop around whenever you heard any music.

How you loved having breakfast at the Coffee Club with me.

I love remembering your ‘scrunch face’, sooo kissable !

I also love picturing you doing the ‘star fish’ on the floor when you were getting tired.

How you use to drag your massive knitted blanket around everywhere !

Also how much you loved banana cake and spaghetti bolognaise.


Sometimes the grief is crippling but so too can be the happiness I feel for you, I know you’re safe and I know you are loved.


One dear friend said: “How lucky is Stella, all she has ever known is love- here and there”

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Stella the Supernova

28.01.2012

I still remember very distinctly when we left Stella at the hospital on the night of the 15th December 2011.

I remember feeling light, like I weighed nothing at all.

I also very clearly remember looking up to the night sky and seeing not one star. I thought to myself and said to my husband, Stella is the only Star tonight.

The following morning we received a newspaper article from a family member. The piece was from the Daily Mail ( published in the UK ) that she had purchased that morning.



The brightest kind of supernova spotted just 11 hours after it exploded… the best for decades

Pic 1- Before and after: Pinwheel Galaxy before (left) and after (right) the supernova called SN2011fe happened - it's the bright blue dot bottom right.
It's the brightest and closest stellar explosion seen in 25 years
Supernovae are bright, so bright they can sometimes be seen with the naked eye, despite being hundreds of thousands of light years away.

Now astronomers from the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California have caught radiation from the brightest category of supernova – the type Ia – just 11 hours after it exploded.

Called SN 2011fe, it was seen in the Pinwheel Galaxy 21million light years away. Not since 1986 has a type Ia been spotte
A supernova occurs when a star dies or when a white dwarf star sucks matter from a nearby star, eventually reaches a critical point and explodes with extraordinary ferocity and brightness - the equivalent of at least 10 billion d this close to Earth.

The light from thousands of type Ia's have been studied, but until now their physics - how they detonate and what the star systems that produce them actually look like before they explode - has been educated guesswork.
suns.
A star dying is a type II, a type Ia is the latter variety and the most luminous.
Peter Nugent from the Berkeley Lab said: ‘We caught the supernova just 11 hours after it exploded, so soon that we were later able to calculate the actual moment of the explosion to within 20 minutes.’

There's a specific limit to how massive the white dwarf can grow, equal to about 1.4 times the mass of our Sun, before it can no longer support itself against gravitational collapse.

As it approaches the limit, conditions are met in the centre so that the white dwarf detonates in a colossal thermonuclear explosion, which converts the carbon and oxygen to heavier elements including nickel,’ says Nugent.

‘A shock wave rips through it and ejects the material in a bright expanding photosphere. Much of the brightness comes from the heat of the radioactive nickel as it decays to cobalt.

‘Light also comes from ejecta being heated by the shock wave, and if this runs into the companion star it can be reheated, adding to the luminosity.’

‘It only takes a few seconds for the shock wave to tear apart the star, but the debris heated in the explosion will continue to glow for several hours.

‘The bigger the star, the brighter this afterglow. Because we caught this supernova so early, and with such sensitive observations, we were able to directly constrain the size of the progenitor.’

Mark Sullivan of Oxford University said:

‘Understanding how these giant explosions create and mix materials is important because supernovae are where we get most of the elements that make up the Earth and even our own bodies - for instance, these supernovae are a major source of iron in the universe. So we are all made of bits of exploding stars.'
 Their results are reported in the December 15 2011 issue of the journal Nature.
Full report at Daily Mail- Supernova
Pic 2 - Light fantastic: SN 2011fe glows bright - from 21million light years away 
 
I love this, Stella my star !


For everyone to see,
shining ever so brightly





xxx

Thursday, January 26, 2012

And I miss you ....

26.01.2012


We are back from holidays.
We had a lovely time; seeing Jett play with some other beautiful children made me smile but it also made my heart yearn for Stella.


I really dont know how Im going to be able to cope with missing my girl for the rest of my life, it seems like such a long long time

"Made for an angel"  while on our holiday 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Family time ....

20.01.2012


We are going on a family holiday, yay ! …  so I won’t be around for a week

Please keep sharing this with your friends and talking about it to someone new.
The more we talk the more awareness we'll create.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported us through this amazingly tough journey. From dear friends, to acquaintances and to total strangers, I feel a connection with each and every one of you and can also feel the love that has been sent for our Star and to us.

Give your loved ones an extra cuddle (or ten) today xx 

Much love, Chels xx

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

DOG WASH AND FAMILY FUN FUNDRAISER IN MEMORY OF STELLA

17.01.2012

Yesterday I received an email from a great friend, saying she had organised a event to raise money for the Mitochondrial Foundation in Stella's name ! Wow !
Thanks so much to Ang at Pamp Ur Pooch and to her partner Brad, who have been friends of ours for a very long time.

Below are the details of the morning:

Please find the event on Facebook here : Dogwash and Family Day FB Event

DOG WASH AND FAMILY FUN FUNDRAISER IN MEMORY OF STELLA

 Many of you know about Stella’s story and what an amazing star she is. For those of you that don’t Stella was born with a rare condition called mitochondrial disease which is a life threatening condition. At just 23 months of age beautiful Stella had fought as much as she could and passed. Stella amaz......ed so many people with her strength and determination through all of her journey and it is easy to see where she got it from.... her amazing family.
This debilitating disease affects so many families in so many different ways and there is no cure at this point in time. Please come and support this fundraiser to not only raise money for research but to raise awareness of this disease. Let’s all get together and spread the word!
With much needed help a cure can be found and stop families in the future from going through a heart breaking journey like this one.


DETAILS:
Sat 4th of Feb
The Spit Gold Coast

Time: 8am - 2pm

There will be:
Dog wash
Sausage Sizzle
Jumping Castles
Face Painting
Silent Auction


So bring the hound and the kids for a great family day out. For those of you that don’t know there is a dog beach at this location so they can have all the sandy and salty fun in the world than get a nice wash before the car trip home.
Please note that ALL money from this day (not just profit) will be donated to the Australian Mitochondrial Disease Foundation to help for future research.
If anyone would like to donate items for the silent auction it will be appreciated very much.


Please phone or email Angela 0412 531 705 or angie.pampurpooch@gmail.com if you need anymore information or think you can help.

Thanks so much, hope to see you all there.



Sunday, January 15, 2012

Love this quote ....

15.01.2012


"What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning"




Photo taken on Stella's birthday last year

Thanks Cass D xxxx

P.S- Thank you to all involved in the auction, it went incredibly well x

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Peekaboo Auction for Stella x

Today Peekaboo magazine  is holding an online auction on Facebook (  Peekaboo Magazine Brisbane FB Page ) with all proceeds going directly to us....



What a lovely thing to organise and thank you so so much to all the great businesses who have donated such beautiful items and another massive thank you to all the bidders.

We love you all.

..................

It's getting very tight here at the moment with Scott not having worked since November and us only receiving the disability payment so this boost of cash will really help with everyday living and hopefully also help us to create some fun and happy memories as we head in to a new year  xxxx


Please go on over and check it out - everything in the album is truly gorgeous !!

AUCTION ENDS TOMORROW MORNING 10 AM 13/01/2012

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Happy Birthday my Princess

11.01.2012

I miss you today, I'll miss you always
I will ache forever in my heart for you Stella

I do try imagining you smiling and laughing. Through my tears the thought makes me smile.
Anything and everything I do, I think of you, say hello and carry on.


Today you turn 2 years old - you should be here with me.

I can however feel you around me, and see you in Jett.


You chase those butterflies my Sweet x



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